personal growth

How The Color Yellow Taught Me Psychology

I’ll be the first to admit that I’m pale. I sunburn quickly and somehow just get a shade of red darker. It was always a point of insecurity when I was younger, not in a way that made me unhappy, but in a way of me just wanting to fit in. I saw friends going to tanning beds or use self-tanner lotions or even get spray tans, but it was something I could never bring myself to spend money on. With this in mind, pale people have a limited closet that they can choose from; too light of a color and you blend in with the walls, too dark and you get asked if you’re feeling ill. It’s an odd predicament, but it helped me learn that yellow just wasn’t my color.

No matter what shade I tried on, whether it be the lightest light or a canary yellow, I looked like I belonged in a fruity tropical drink. Not a good look to say the least. However, it taught me something.. I don’t look good in yellow and that’s okay, I don’t need to. Others may dazzle in the color and some may just look eh in it, but for me, I knew it wasn’t something I was meant to wear.

This leads me to my point. Far too often I see friends and individuals try to compartmentalize themselves into thinking they look good in yellow. They’re quick to copy the trends of their favorite celebrities or mold into the exact profession their parents or friends tell them they’d be good at, but then look in the mirror and don’t like what they see. Quite simply, they’re seeing their yellow.

Ultimately, you have to play to your strengths. If you know you aren’t a good writer or speaker or artist, that’s actually okay. It’s great to acknowledge that you have weaknesses or areas you need to improve upon. You have the ability to learn these skills over time, but put bluntly you will never have the ability that a natural may have, or at least not for a while. This is the interesting part, however. You have an innate ability and strength that you may not even realize that you possess. Something that others compliment you on or something that people may introduce you with like “Hey, this is my friend Brant! He’s an amazing singer!”. It’s something small like this that you may overlook, but an interesting strength you may have! (disclaimer, I don’t have an amazing voice… sadly)

You have to be willing to bet on your strengths and willing to go all in on what you know or what others know you’re good at. I’ve learned in my short time of being an alumnus that it’s often difficult to chase your strengths or passions as it may not be as lucrative as the big fancy paychecks from companies, but I also know that it is extremely satisfying to bet on your strengths and continue refining your amazing individuality. My message to you is simple: be the best you that you can be by going all in on what makes you, you. Play to your strengths forever.

 

As always, really appreciate you coming and reading this and if you have anything you’d love for me to write about, let me know in the comments below!

 

“There are no such things as strangers, just friends we’ve yet to meet.”

B

Advertisements

How Presence, Not Presents, Changed My Life

Often times, we are shrouded in our own thoughts and stuck with an inability to move forward. I’ve felt this at times and feel it’s especially present when writing or speaking when you seem to be at a loss for words. You consider many factors before you plot your next move thinking maybe I should change the tonality in my voice or maybe I should write in a more professional tone or you know what, maybe I should remain silent until someone else brings up another topic.

Self-doubt is not thinking you are lesser than people, but being stuck in what to do next, whether that’s personally, professionally, or socially. It’s what I attribute in part to the rise of our lives becoming more and more digital and online based. We see the flawless pictures others post and the rich and lavish lifestyles some adhere to and wonder what exactly we’re doing that’s so different than those individuals.

One step of realizing this is understanding your fixations. Just like tobacco and alcohol, addiction cannot be noted quickly by ones own self, but rather can be from others around you. The desire to take a puff or another swig is a tick. This doesn’t mean you’re addicted, but rather your mind is at ease when you’re able to partake in it. One of the ticks I realized I had was my phone. I am all about self-improvement but found my eyes straining just from the amount of time I spent on my phone. Our world is digital now and our focus is on the things that provide us a safety net from reality. It’s so easy to scroll through Instagram and then reach your last point and go to the next platform. The cyclical nature of this is calming because it doesn’t require thinking. Unfortunately, this is just as addictive as any of the things listed above. It’s a heightened sense of dopamine that injects into your mind providing happiness short term.

Now I won’t say stop looking at your phone or delete the apps that cause you to stare for hours on end because that’d be foolish. I want you to keep enjoying your life and everything you do. Rather, what I want for you is to be cognizant of when your fully invested and present in a situation. Oblivious to distraction or personal issues and being involved in what is actively going on around you.

Once I slowly started making this shift, I realized that being invested in the moment and fully submerging myself into every situation gave me a sense of a much more profound feeling of joy. I implore you to be present in every moment and although at first it can be taxing on yourself and exhausting to not look at your phone or fall victim to your tick, in the long run it will make friendships stronger, memories far fonder, and life a whole lot more interesting.

Wishing you all an amazing day and as always,

 

“There is no such things as strangers, just friends we’ve yet to meet.”

Brant

6 Ways to Grow Your Self-Confidence

 

What I’ve seen lately is that most entrepreneurs and business people were born with great genes that allow them to perform at the levels that they do — that confidence is a natural born skill and if you don’t have the right set of chromosomes, well sorry.. you’re shit out of luck.

I read these things and think how foolish they truly are. The names that you know today as moguls within their respective industry were undoubtedly born with talent and natural ability, but had to refine and focus on personal growth to really capture who they were as an individual. You think the Rock came out of the womb looking like a chiseled Greek warrior? No. You think Elon Musk successfully started every venture he pursued? No, he almost went bankrupt. You think Albert Einstein naturally just rolled into the theory of relativity? No, he spent years and years dedicating his life to his craft and finding new answers to growing problems.

That’s what I want to focus on this week. Self-confidence is not just a born with talent, but something you can improve week in and week out.

Here are my top tips for improving your personal self confidence:

  • Think of the most confident person you know. Could be a person that you’re close to, could be celebrity you may admire, or even could be a fictional character. Take a moment for yourself and think of someone that exudes confidence in their every action or seemingly does. Think about what they do that is impressive to you, is it their vocal tonality? Their stance? The way their words flow together? Just think about what exactly they do that gives them an aura of confidence. From here, what I want you to do is go into a place you frequent, could be a coffee shop, a library, or anywhere with people in public. I want you to think about that confident individual and test out one or two of the aspects I mentioned above. Emulate their confidence in place of yourself.

 

  • Fear can cripple you, so ask yourself “what’s really the worst that could happen?” Someone may snicker when you puff out your chest and deepen your voice by three octaves, but ultimately nothing bad will come from it. Even if you may think so.

 

  • Confident individuals stand CONFIDENTLY. Take your hands out of your pockets when you speak and strike a superman pose or speak with open palms. Many times, people view confidence as your ability to be eloquent in your speech or the way in which you present yourself. Do not hunch your shoulders over – push them back, look at a person when you are directly addressing them, and finally speak a level louder than you think is loud. Don’t yell, but pronunciate your every word with clarity.

 

  • Your past isn’t indicative of your future. Regardless of your past, you have the opportunity and ability to control your life’s destiny and purpose. Think long and hard about what you want your life to look like and then execute on actions that bring you to that point. Execute. Evaluate. Re-execute. Re-evaluate. Over and over.

 

  • The negative voices in your head need to be let go. We are far too often swarmed with inner negativity. Our minds associate what if questions to every scenario we get in and usually take a pessimistic view. Shift your mindset from what if to why not. Be conscious of the negativity and try your best to erase it with positivity and an open mindset for growth.

 

  • The experts in their respective fields are experts because they know the industry they are in back and forth. They’ve studied everything applicable and continue to research to improve. They ask others questions and take on feedback openly from others. The best in the world are overprepared and have studied endlessly to be where they are at. You cannot fear what you already know.

 

You are in the driver seat of your own life. It’s time for you to take what you want.

Let me know what you think in the comments below and share this to those who may need to read it.

Wishing you all the very best and as always,

 

“There is no such things as strangers, just friends we’ve yet to meet.”

Brant

Crack Open Your True Potential

I recently read a novel by a man named Simon Sinek called Start With Why. Sinek, who I most famously knew as the man from this video on millennials in the workforce spoke with such certainty that I found his message eerily true in many ways. I found it to be intellectually stimulating and thought provoking so it was with that in mind that I wanted to read more into him. I listened to his audiobook as I flew to and from Chicago and he discusses why every person or business that has been successful has started with asking why. I enjoyed his analysis but spent time thinking introspectively about whether it was right or wrong. Sinek makes valid points as to why is important, but does not cover, to me, the most important detail.

 

You must start with your what.

Your purpose, your motive, your desire, your perceived life.

You have to first formulate what you want from your life, whether that be through monetary means, your relationship, your career, or just personal satisfaction and happiness. If you cannot answer WHAT you want, then you will be unable to move forward with why you want to do it. More often than not, I see peers around me caught up in a period of dissatisfaction because they are not living the way they want to.

This phenomenon is what I call mental stagnation.

You are quick to blame outside influences or environmental circumstances because it is easiest to blame or put fault on others, but rather, in reality you are just unsure of what you want. You have the opportunity and ability to make individual choices but are paralyzed because you do not know what to look for.

 

It isn’t about the perfect choice, it’s about making a choice.

I cannot dictate what you want from your life whether I like it or not. You alone have the answer to that question and the beauty is your answer doesn’t have to be right. Your life is highly fluid and will be ever changing in what you want, but it is imperative that you decide because without it, you are leading a life that is directed by a compass that doesn’t work.

You must find your north star and work towards that point even if the north star changes position, you still have your what that you are chasing and pursuing. You must understand that your life is not a dead end and your choices just lead you to other opportunities or shifts in your mindset. If one road closes, then seek another road to get to your north star.

 

Your north star is not the same as your moms.

In this thing called life, we don’t have universal maps that people can follow along with to create their own perfect life. Nobody has mapped out the perfect way for every individual and you shouldn’t think of it in this fashion. It is not about your parents, your peers, the Instagram pages with a million plus followers, your significant other, or anyone else. Moreover, it’s not even about what you think you should be wanting or what you used to desire.

It is about what you want for yourself at this exact moment.

Think it. Create it. Execute.

 

 

“There is no such things as strangers, just friends we’ve yet to meet.”

Brant A. Wickersham