mindset

If Your Life Was a Book, Would Others Read It?

You are the protagonist of your own novel. The main character with ambitions, goals, and intertwined friendships that are unparalleled. Although you have character flaws and lapses of judgement, your book is written solely about you and the personal connections, friendships, and families you’ve accumulated or been born into.

Take a step back now, close your theoretical book and place it on the shelf in front of you. Instead of a shelf, you’re on a busy street in New York City and no one seems to grab at your book. Individuals pass by without even acknowledging you or your story.

This is sonder.

By definition, sonder is the realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own—populated with their own ambitions, friends, routines, worries and inherited craziness—an epic story that continues invisibly around you like an anthill sprawling deep underground, with elaborate passageways to thousands of other lives that you’ll never know existed, in which you might appear only once, as an extra sipping coffee in the background, as a blur of traffic passing on the highway, as a lighted window at dusk.

This is a sobering reality as to just how small you are. Your tendencies and normal day to day activities are only directly observed by yourself and those with which you come in communication with. More often than not, even those whom you come in communication with at work or passing by in traffic, have no idea about anything you’re facing. No clue on how your ambitions are fleeting as you sit behind your steering wheel. No idea that you still have desires to be an astronaut or a teacher or a firefighter.

I noticed this phenomenon as I’ve been in and out of airports for the past few months and the immediate tendency I exhibit in taking comfort in my cell phone. I deter from social situations because in my mind I want to lay low, but, it’s my excuse to find my bubble to stay safe in. Those that I know, those that know me, those that care about me and vice versa. I find safety and solitude in knowing what is going on around me rather than examining individuals whom I’ve never met nor will encounter ever again.

It’s a strange reality observing that others have ambitions and goals and lives outside of what you are seeing. They travel and visit far off lands for vacations stemming from the same airport you leave from. When you acknowledge that others have individual motives and lives outside of your own, you quickly realize just how small you are. However, regardless of how small you are, you have the innate ability to impact others stories and become a part of their narrative just by being present.

Wishing you an amazing day and an even better weekend.

*Side note short video in the comments below that I love on Sonder

 

“There is no such things as strangers, just friends we’ve yet to meet.”

Brant A. Wickersham

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Crack Open Your True Potential

I recently read a novel by a man named Simon Sinek called Start With Why. Sinek, who I most famously knew as the man from this video on millennials in the workforce spoke with such certainty that I found his message eerily true in many ways. I found it to be intellectually stimulating and thought provoking so it was with that in mind that I wanted to read more into him. I listened to his audiobook as I flew to and from Chicago and he discusses why every person or business that has been successful has started with asking why. I enjoyed his analysis but spent time thinking introspectively about whether it was right or wrong. Sinek makes valid points as to why is important, but does not cover, to me, the most important detail.

 

You must start with your what.

Your purpose, your motive, your desire, your perceived life.

You have to first formulate what you want from your life, whether that be through monetary means, your relationship, your career, or just personal satisfaction and happiness. If you cannot answer WHAT you want, then you will be unable to move forward with why you want to do it. More often than not, I see peers around me caught up in a period of dissatisfaction because they are not living the way they want to.

This phenomenon is what I call mental stagnation.

You are quick to blame outside influences or environmental circumstances because it is easiest to blame or put fault on others, but rather, in reality you are just unsure of what you want. You have the opportunity and ability to make individual choices but are paralyzed because you do not know what to look for.

 

It isn’t about the perfect choice, it’s about making a choice.

I cannot dictate what you want from your life whether I like it or not. You alone have the answer to that question and the beauty is your answer doesn’t have to be right. Your life is highly fluid and will be ever changing in what you want, but it is imperative that you decide because without it, you are leading a life that is directed by a compass that doesn’t work.

You must find your north star and work towards that point even if the north star changes position, you still have your what that you are chasing and pursuing. You must understand that your life is not a dead end and your choices just lead you to other opportunities or shifts in your mindset. If one road closes, then seek another road to get to your north star.

 

Your north star is not the same as your moms.

In this thing called life, we don’t have universal maps that people can follow along with to create their own perfect life. Nobody has mapped out the perfect way for every individual and you shouldn’t think of it in this fashion. It is not about your parents, your peers, the Instagram pages with a million plus followers, your significant other, or anyone else. Moreover, it’s not even about what you think you should be wanting or what you used to desire.

It is about what you want for yourself at this exact moment.

Think it. Create it. Execute.

 

 

“There is no such things as strangers, just friends we’ve yet to meet.”

Brant A. Wickersham