Uncategorized

6 Ways to Grow Your Self-Confidence

 

What I’ve seen lately is that most entrepreneurs and business people were born with great genes that allow them to perform at the levels that they do — that confidence is a natural born skill and if you don’t have the right set of chromosomes, well sorry.. you’re shit out of luck.

I read these things and think how foolish they truly are. The names that you know today as moguls within their respective industry were undoubtedly born with talent and natural ability, but had to refine and focus on personal growth to really capture who they were as an individual. You think the Rock came out of the womb looking like a chiseled Greek warrior? No. You think Elon Musk successfully started every venture he pursued? No, he almost went bankrupt. You think Albert Einstein naturally just rolled into the theory of relativity? No, he spent years and years dedicating his life to his craft and finding new answers to growing problems.

That’s what I want to focus on this week. Self-confidence is not just a born with talent, but something you can improve week in and week out.

Here are my top tips for improving your personal self confidence:

  • Think of the most confident person you know. Could be a person that you’re close to, could be celebrity you may admire, or even could be a fictional character. Take a moment for yourself and think of someone that exudes confidence in their every action or seemingly does. Think about what they do that is impressive to you, is it their vocal tonality? Their stance? The way their words flow together? Just think about what exactly they do that gives them an aura of confidence. From here, what I want you to do is go into a place you frequent, could be a coffee shop, a library, or anywhere with people in public. I want you to think about that confident individual and test out one or two of the aspects I mentioned above. Emulate their confidence in place of yourself.

 

  • Fear can cripple you, so ask yourself “what’s really the worst that could happen?” Someone may snicker when you puff out your chest and deepen your voice by three octaves, but ultimately nothing bad will come from it. Even if you may think so.

 

  • Confident individuals stand CONFIDENTLY. Take your hands out of your pockets when you speak and strike a superman pose or speak with open palms. Many times, people view confidence as your ability to be eloquent in your speech or the way in which you present yourself. Do not hunch your shoulders over – push them back, look at a person when you are directly addressing them, and finally speak a level louder than you think is loud. Don’t yell, but pronunciate your every word with clarity.

 

  • Your past isn’t indicative of your future. Regardless of your past, you have the opportunity and ability to control your life’s destiny and purpose. Think long and hard about what you want your life to look like and then execute on actions that bring you to that point. Execute. Evaluate. Re-execute. Re-evaluate. Over and over.

 

  • The negative voices in your head need to be let go. We are far too often swarmed with inner negativity. Our minds associate what if questions to every scenario we get in and usually take a pessimistic view. Shift your mindset from what if to why not. Be conscious of the negativity and try your best to erase it with positivity and an open mindset for growth.

 

  • The experts in their respective fields are experts because they know the industry they are in back and forth. They’ve studied everything applicable and continue to research to improve. They ask others questions and take on feedback openly from others. The best in the world are overprepared and have studied endlessly to be where they are at. You cannot fear what you already know.

 

You are in the driver seat of your own life. It’s time for you to take what you want.

Let me know what you think in the comments below and share this to those who may need to read it.

Wishing you all the very best and as always,

 

“There is no such things as strangers, just friends we’ve yet to meet.”

Brant

A Message To All Mothers

This may be yet another year that you don’t get your breakfast in bed.

It’s a possibility, that the flowers that your spouse ordered “didn’t come in on time”

Or moreover your kids say happy mothers day and keep going in their day to day life.

 

Although it is this Sunday, I knew I had to write this weeks blog on one of the most influential people in my life. Since I am travelling to Chicago on Sunday for business, I’ll be unable to tell her just how much she means to me, so hopefully this covers some of it.

 

Mom,

As I begin to write this post, I think about hundreds of thousands of different things I could say to you, but none seem to cover exactly how important you are to me.

I can write about how you patched me up when I scraped my knee or brought me to the hospital when I split open my chin.

I could list off the ways you taught me to be around others and the mannerisms it involves or simply that positivity will never go out of style.

I could condemn you for never letting me climb one branch higher on the tree or write about how making my bed never seemed to make any sense.

I could easily talk about all the times that you’ve taken me shopping just because the new styles were in and you didn’t want me to be misplaced among my peers or how I still can’t figure out why you had me and my brother in matching outfits for the majority of our childhood.

I could talk about the trips we’ve taken, the sites we’ve seen, and the travel bug instilled in me or simply the places that we’ve yet to go.

I could talk about how somehow your stubborn ways taught me to want to lead an organic lifestyle or how your emphasis on health has helped mold me into who I am today.

I could talk about how you pushed me to study one more question when studying for SAT’s or how you commanded excellence when in came to school.

I could surely talk about a lot and I’ve probably only scratched the surface of things I could cover, but there’s one area I simply can’t even put into words properly. You have made me into the young man I am today by sacrificing every bit of your life to me and Jay’s betterment. I write this in the most sincere and the most grateful fashion as I have never met a woman that has done so much for so little recognition. I am indebted to all that you have provided me and can say whole-heartedly that a day doesn’t go by in acknowledging how fortunate I am to have you looking over me. You may not get the recognition that you deserve, but I know some day I will show it to you.

I cannot buy you the world, I cannot give you every trip that you may want to go on, but I can say I will forever be grateful for the values and confidence you’ve instilled in me and it’s with that that I hope to re-pay you someday.

I love you and will love you for the rest of my life.

Happy Mothers Day Momma, you are one truly incredible individual.

 

“There is no such things as strangers, just friends we’ve yet to meet.”

Brant A. Wickersham

Mr. Solo Dolo

The transition from having someone always around into solidarity is a shift towards adult life that is a somewhat undiscussed and unwritten topic. Parents or friends just say “oh it’s a part of life” or “you’ll get used to it in time”, but it’s an odd change regardless. Going from having roommates or having adults around to living alone is not an easy task.

When I first trekked down to Miami, I was filled with pure excitement and a readiness to start my summer internship. But as my parents and my brother left, I sat in silence for the first time in a very long time. No one around, no one bugging me to clean dishes or make my bed, no one to say what I could or couldn’t do, but most importantly, no one to talk to. It was an experience unlike any that I had faced before and can say it was the first time when I truly felt alone. I slept a total of 45 minutes the first night in anticipation of the coming day and realized that experience wasn’t going to be shared with anyone unless I was to call them or hop on my phone and update my social media.

Although it was a culmination of excitement, nervousness, and maybe even a slight amount of fear, for the first time, I really thought about all that was going through my head. I had nothing to do but think. Quite simply, it exposed me to thinking on a deeper level about all areas of my life. When you self-analyze without any interruption or advice from others, you realize that big problems become small and good things become even more cherished. It prioritizes the important things in life and lets you focus on what means most to you.

Being introspective is not a selfish act, but rather one I encourage. Being able to find what makes you most happy is something you deserve, not something to be chasing in your own mind. This is a little long winded, but I want to stress the importance of investing in yourself and giving yourself a break from daily activity and the constant commotion of life. Be by yourself for 15 minutes, put your technology away, and just live in the moment. Think about all you want, all things positive and negative, and think about what you can do to change your life and those you surround yourself with.

Be great, you’re nothing short of it.

What I’m Listening to: (Song of the Week)

“There is no such things as strangers, just friends we’ve yet to meet.”

Brant A. Wickersham

Seriously Silly

“Time and place..” currently one of my favorite phrases because it seems to be applicable to almost everything. There is a time and place for all actions you take, but the one that is most relevant to me currently is seriousness. We’re constantly told to act this way or react in a particular manner, but always told to maintain composure and be serious. Being serious is tiring, it wears away on how you actually want to act and molds you into that cubicle worker with a 9-5 shift. Boring, boring, boring. It’s time to alter the norm and change up what is so common in business’ today. Look at Google for instance, they allow their employees to be creative and work in a “silly” atmosphere. This encourages workers to embrace their individuality and doesn’t tie them down to the seriousness usually involved with big corporations. They work for enjoyment and therefore get more things done and know when to be serious.

Image

The reason why I talk about this seriousness is because if you are continually serious and just conform to what everyone else is doing, you are bound to make your personality more shallow. Be yourself and let out your creativity. Don’t get trapped behind the molded exterior people may want to see. Follow your dreams and pursue what actually interests you. Above all, enjoy your work and love what you do because if you can do that, your “silliness” will be as much a part of you as it is your work.

Hope you all have a wonderful week. Seriously.

“There is no such things as strangers, just friends we’ve yet to meet.”

Brant A. Wickersham

 

Image

Letting out my inner sorority girl..

Bought some hightop white converse this weekend and I still can’t stop laughing

It’s Okay to Own a Diary

             “An idea is like a virus, resilient, highly contagious. The smallest seed of an idea can grow. It can grow to define or destroy you.” This quote is in one of my all time favorite movies Inception and really intrigues me. Once an idea is planted in your head, you twist the thought around in every which way predicting which outcomes are likely or if it is even realistic. Overthinking becomes not a choice, but rather an automatic response. Whether it be a picture you see, a video you watch, or something said to you, your brain embeds that and forces further thought. Most are scared of this though, that overthinking is a bad thing. Thinking about something too often will ruin you or harm you in some way and in some ways it is true. But the focus of all this is how one simple idea or thought can change your mood, your attitude, or even your life.

Thoughts and ideas are powerful beyond measure and they are often forgotten because they aren’t written down or slip from our short-term memory too soon. To me, forgetting a good idea or losing a thought is extremely annoying and frustrating. My advice: keep a journal. Now before you go running away from my blog, I promise you that I don’t have a My Little Pony Diary and find satisfaction in watching the bachelorette, because I don’t. All I am trying to say is keep your thoughts and ideas in something where they all stay together. You’d be surprised at the ease of carrying around a small notepad and writing down things when you have a crazy idea. On another note, you may have ideas that may be out of the norm or be considered crazy, but write them down anyway! You never know, your ideas could change the lives of others or make someone happier when they need it most. You have the chance to change the world, all you have to do is think. (well remember those thoughts too..)

That’s all I’ve got for you all this week. Thanks for all the feedback thus far!

“There is no such things as strangers, just friends we’ve yet to meet.”

Brant A. Wickersham

Image

The Power of a Picture

A picture is worth a thousand words.. or however that phrase may actually go. Photography showcases the incredible, extraordinary, or even basic things that you may be doing. I can honestly say I’m the biggest fan of pictures primarily because it allows me to relish in memories that I created when it was taken and even see what others may be up to. Pictures give me an opportunity to see something that I’ve never seen before and can tell a story in a way that words just simply can’t. My advice: take as many pictures as you can, you will appreciate them that much more as you grow older.

But there is one small detail that I chose to leave out and that is not only the importance of taking pictures in a mass quantity, but making sure that those pictures aren’t your sole focus. I say this because it’s easy to hide behind your camera lens or your phone screen just snapping pictures for the entirety of an event or trip, but are you actually experiencing what you’re photographing? It’s incredibly important to be actually present and fully engaged when you’re in these situations. I guarantee that the times you will make if you put your camera down and actually experience what is at hand by just being present will be more memorable in the long run.

Pictures without a context have no real meaning, so if your focus isn’t solely on the pictures, but rather the actual creation of memories, the photographs that you do have will really mean something to you and those that were with you. This is not me trying to say stop taking pictures, because that’s completely wrong, all I am really trying to say is to live in the moment while you are physically there. Make memories based on the sites you see and those special people around you and only then will those pictures serve a real purpose. Plus, you’ll get SO many more likes on Instagram if your pictures have a purpose.. Just saying haha. That’s all I’ve got for you all this week, see you next Monday!

“There is no such things as strangers, just friends we’ve yet to meet.”

Brant A. Wickersham

Image

A picture may be worth a thousand words, but this one can be described with one:

  • SUNBURNT

A Boating Mindset

It seems as if I’m currently living life through a suitcase. In my last post, A Universal Language, I was traveling trough the great country of Canada and now I’m sitting in a log cabin overlooking a scenic lake in the backroads of North Carolina. As I look out onto the lake, I see something extremely unfamiliar in day to day life. Something that is only attainable when you’re experiencing real happiness. As people go by one another riding across the current and the waves, a simple smile and a hand raises up. Why is it that anytime you pass another boat, you smile and wave?

I like to call this a boating mindset, a mindset in which you have no worries and others are treated as an equal, not a threat or competition. In the boating mindset, happiness is just something that comes with riding around and enjoying the atmosphere. In addition to people waving and smiling, there is another facet to the boating mindset. Simply put, it is a loss of interest in time and worries. When riding on a boat worries are forgotten and stress is lost. It should be a goal to live a life that encapsulates this no worry thought process.

So my question is, why is this lifestyle only lived out on the water? Why do people not smile and wave when they are just passing you in the streets or when they see you in class? It’s easy to wave and even easier to smile, so why not do both when you’re out of the water. Be cognizant that a simple wave to someone who may not expect it, can directly affect there day. Chase after a life that will give you a boating mindset, and if you think it’s unattainable with a situation you’re in, try and think of a time that it was possible and make the changes necessary to smile once again. Finishing note, your mindset controls you and if you have less stress you single-handedly encourage your success.

“There is no such things as strangers, just friends we’ve yet to meet.”

Brant A. Wickersham

Image

A Universal Language

Everyone is different. Every person reacts to situations differently with every action being taken created from personal thoughts or your own perceived thoughts on how society may want you to act. Everything you do varies and stems from personal desires. The one thing though that is shared by all, a universal language quite frankly, is a smile. No matter what language you speak, no matter how you act, a simple smile can express what words and actions may never be able to do.

As I traveled out of the US and into French speaking Canada, I couldn’t help but become frustrated with my inability to communicate. I had to point at things I wanted to eat while being served in restaurants, use hand motions to get more water, and all at the same time still try to be friendly without saying anything. I was looked upon as an outsider, someone who just didn’t seem to belong. For the first time in a long time, I felt like I had no significance. As I sat listening to French, I started thinking to myself.. Can I please just have some pizza or something that tastes good. I’m looking at words that have absolutely no meaning to me (seriously even in McDonalds I didn’t know what they were serving — I ordered a MacPoulet?) Regardless, as I thought more and more about the barrier between our languages, one thing we held in common was that smiling was a language we both understood.

Smiling is associated with happiness wherever you may go, so use it to your advantage. If others know you’re friendly by smiling, they are going to be more likely to approach you and strike up a conversation. Being around a lifeless, smile-less individual drags you down in every aspect. In regards to my last blog post, your name is everything. So when your name is associated with smiling and happiness, those people will want to spend more time with you and just be around such an uplifting individual. Know that every time you smile, you have the chance and opportunity to create happiness and make someones day. Smiling and happiness go hand in hand, so if you happen to take anything from this post, please try and take this – make it your goal to be fluent in the universal language. Smile often and be quick to laugh, happiness is created by you.

“There is no such things as strangers, just friends we’ve yet to meet.”

Brant A. Wickersham

Biking through the mountains of Maine

Had to take a selfie while biking through the mountains of Maine

The Importance of a Name

What is the most important thing you own? Is it a particular item of clothing in your closet, your phone possibly, or maybe your car? Notice how everything listed was a tangible item or thing, but personally nothing you physically own can oust one intangible item. Something that you have no control of, but reflects every bit of you. The most important thing that you own is, quite simply, your name.

Your name defines you in ways that is much more than what you wear or what you own. Your name is a legacy in the making and is the first thing remembered when spoken about. Everything about you, those things you like and those you’re not so fond of, are tied to your name. Names are unique solely to you and although there may be many people who share similar personality traits, little to no one shares your same name.

Think about a life without names and how poignant it would be. Conversations filled with voids like “dude” or “lady” but never actually your name. Interactions would be bland and lack any personal references. Personally, I think true friendships and lasting connections are made through names. Think about going to your local Starbucks and placing an order. Imagine if the attendant didn’t ask for your name and just served it as your order. Things would be absolute chaos and orders would be made in a slipshod fashion regularly resulting in dissatisfaction. Now think about those times that you’ve gone to Starbucks and they misspelled your name on your order. Subconsciously your mind responds by pointing out the mistake of the person either through laughter, anger, or tweeting and Instagramming the mistake that was made. Personally I resort to Twitter because I like seeing how many ways in which people can mess up the spelling of Brant.
Regardless of the Brent/Brandon/Brad situation, your name is your most important asset; so why in business is this not the area of most focus? I know I don’t want to get an email or phone call saying, “Customer, we are sorry about your inconvenience…” I want my name written throughout the text or said multiple times so I know what’s being said is real and genuine. Automated responses are incredible for efficiency, but take away from the customer experience. Every asset of a business should focus on the customer and the most important thing that customer owns is not your product, but rather, their own name. No matter how big your business gets, there is no name that is less important than it. It should be the utmost priority to be personal and know the names of those that are using your product or just learning about it.

I challenge you to remember names more than you do currently. Make your interactions an experience that you can relate to the next time you see that person or group. If you can remember names, I assure you it will be noticed. Remember, your name is your best asset, make it a priority to treat others in that same manner acknowledging that their names is just as important. I hope you enjoyed my first blog post and really hope you all continue reading them. I’ll be writing on a weekly basis posting every Monday night!

 

“There is no such things as strangers, just friends we’ve yet to meet.”

Brant A. Wickersham