Often times, we are shrouded in our own thoughts and stuck with an inability to move forward. I’ve felt this at times and feel it’s especially present when writing or speaking when you seem to be at a loss for words. You consider many factors before you plot your next move thinking maybe I should change the tonality in my voice or maybe I should write in a more professional tone or you know what, maybe I should remain silent until someone else brings up another topic.
Self-doubt is not thinking you are lesser than people, but being stuck in what to do next, whether that’s personally, professionally, or socially. It’s what I attribute in part to the rise of our lives becoming more and more digital and online based. We see the flawless pictures others post and the rich and lavish lifestyles some adhere to and wonder what exactly we’re doing that’s so different than those individuals.
One step of realizing this is understanding your fixations. Just like tobacco and alcohol, addiction cannot be noted quickly by ones own self, but rather can be from others around you. The desire to take a puff or another swig is a tick. This doesn’t mean you’re addicted, but rather your mind is at ease when you’re able to partake in it. One of the ticks I realized I had was my phone. I am all about self-improvement but found my eyes straining just from the amount of time I spent on my phone. Our world is digital now and our focus is on the things that provide us a safety net from reality. It’s so easy to scroll through Instagram and then reach your last point and go to the next platform. The cyclical nature of this is calming because it doesn’t require thinking. Unfortunately, this is just as addictive as any of the things listed above. It’s a heightened sense of dopamine that injects into your mind providing happiness short term.
Now I won’t say stop looking at your phone or delete the apps that cause you to stare for hours on end because that’d be foolish. I want you to keep enjoying your life and everything you do. Rather, what I want for you is to be cognizant of when your fully invested and present in a situation. Oblivious to distraction or personal issues and being involved in what is actively going on around you.
Once I slowly started making this shift, I realized that being invested in the moment and fully submerging myself into every situation gave me a sense of a much more profound feeling of joy. I implore you to be present in every moment and although at first it can be taxing on yourself and exhausting to not look at your phone or fall victim to your tick, in the long run it will make friendships stronger, memories far fonder, and life a whole lot more interesting.
Wishing you all an amazing day and as always,
“There is no such things as strangers, just friends we’ve yet to meet.”