Month: May 2017

Why Emotion Is Okay

Vulnerability is often overlooked and ignored.

For longer than I can remember, I’ve heard that men are designed to be tough. From a purely genetic and physiological sense, it is easily understood. Men have higher levels of testosterone than women and can naturally build muscle at higher levels than women. The issue that I find in this statement, however, is not its association with muscle or the physical nature of being a man, but that it’s also been attached to the mental side of being a man.

It’s frowned upon to cry, frowned upon to be seen as weak, and on top of that, the least manly thing you can do is to always be that moody friend.

Naturally, we are susceptible to emotions, but men have been trained into thinking that emotion is not a factor to personal development. In reality, it is quite the opposite, but we just don’t think of it as an emotion, it just happens. The example I’m thinking of is sports. We track stats, follow our favorite teams, and obsess over people we likely have never met or spoken to. You share excitement with other fans when great plays happen, get nervous when there is only seconds left on the clock in the game, and cry tears of sorrow or joy upon an end result of a game. When thinking about how insane sports entertainment is, it blows my mind that men wearing tights throwing a ball around and smacking up on each other clicks something in the male brain that destroys the emotional gate.

What I want to share with you today is that emotion is a natural part of being human and should be constantly used when dealing with your life. Suppressing emotion does nothing but contort and twist your mind into whatever your thoughts perceive the situation as.

What I encourage for you all to do is to be emotional when you’ve been advised not to. Cry at amazing performances, love fearlessly and have your heart explode with happiness, be proud and excited of yourself when you nail an interview or question in class, but most importantly, be cognizant of your emotions and let them flow through you to better your life. When you can define your emotion rather than pondering what you’re feeling, you have the ability and opportunity to make massive change in yourself and those around you.

Thanks for checking in this week. I love each and every one of you that takes time out of your busy life to read my blogs. Means a hell of a lot. Looking forward to growing this incredible community and continuing to impact those in it. Have an amazing and blessed weekend!

 

“There is no such things as strangers, just friends we’ve yet to meet.”

Brant A. Wickersham

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Crack Open Your True Potential

I recently read a novel by a man named Simon Sinek called Start With Why. Sinek, who I most famously knew as the man from this video on millennials in the workforce spoke with such certainty that I found his message eerily true in many ways. I found it to be intellectually stimulating and thought provoking so it was with that in mind that I wanted to read more into him. I listened to his audiobook as I flew to and from Chicago and he discusses why every person or business that has been successful has started with asking why. I enjoyed his analysis but spent time thinking introspectively about whether it was right or wrong. Sinek makes valid points as to why is important, but does not cover, to me, the most important detail.

 

You must start with your what.

Your purpose, your motive, your desire, your perceived life.

You have to first formulate what you want from your life, whether that be through monetary means, your relationship, your career, or just personal satisfaction and happiness. If you cannot answer WHAT you want, then you will be unable to move forward with why you want to do it. More often than not, I see peers around me caught up in a period of dissatisfaction because they are not living the way they want to.

This phenomenon is what I call mental stagnation.

You are quick to blame outside influences or environmental circumstances because it is easiest to blame or put fault on others, but rather, in reality you are just unsure of what you want. You have the opportunity and ability to make individual choices but are paralyzed because you do not know what to look for.

 

It isn’t about the perfect choice, it’s about making a choice.

I cannot dictate what you want from your life whether I like it or not. You alone have the answer to that question and the beauty is your answer doesn’t have to be right. Your life is highly fluid and will be ever changing in what you want, but it is imperative that you decide because without it, you are leading a life that is directed by a compass that doesn’t work.

You must find your north star and work towards that point even if the north star changes position, you still have your what that you are chasing and pursuing. You must understand that your life is not a dead end and your choices just lead you to other opportunities or shifts in your mindset. If one road closes, then seek another road to get to your north star.

 

Your north star is not the same as your moms.

In this thing called life, we don’t have universal maps that people can follow along with to create their own perfect life. Nobody has mapped out the perfect way for every individual and you shouldn’t think of it in this fashion. It is not about your parents, your peers, the Instagram pages with a million plus followers, your significant other, or anyone else. Moreover, it’s not even about what you think you should be wanting or what you used to desire.

It is about what you want for yourself at this exact moment.

Think it. Create it. Execute.

 

 

“There is no such things as strangers, just friends we’ve yet to meet.”

Brant A. Wickersham

A Message To All Mothers

This may be yet another year that you don’t get your breakfast in bed.

It’s a possibility, that the flowers that your spouse ordered “didn’t come in on time”

Or moreover your kids say happy mothers day and keep going in their day to day life.

 

Although it is this Sunday, I knew I had to write this weeks blog on one of the most influential people in my life. Since I am travelling to Chicago on Sunday for business, I’ll be unable to tell her just how much she means to me, so hopefully this covers some of it.

 

Mom,

As I begin to write this post, I think about hundreds of thousands of different things I could say to you, but none seem to cover exactly how important you are to me.

I can write about how you patched me up when I scraped my knee or brought me to the hospital when I split open my chin.

I could list off the ways you taught me to be around others and the mannerisms it involves or simply that positivity will never go out of style.

I could condemn you for never letting me climb one branch higher on the tree or write about how making my bed never seemed to make any sense.

I could easily talk about all the times that you’ve taken me shopping just because the new styles were in and you didn’t want me to be misplaced among my peers or how I still can’t figure out why you had me and my brother in matching outfits for the majority of our childhood.

I could talk about the trips we’ve taken, the sites we’ve seen, and the travel bug instilled in me or simply the places that we’ve yet to go.

I could talk about how somehow your stubborn ways taught me to want to lead an organic lifestyle or how your emphasis on health has helped mold me into who I am today.

I could talk about how you pushed me to study one more question when studying for SAT’s or how you commanded excellence when in came to school.

I could surely talk about a lot and I’ve probably only scratched the surface of things I could cover, but there’s one area I simply can’t even put into words properly. You have made me into the young man I am today by sacrificing every bit of your life to me and Jay’s betterment. I write this in the most sincere and the most grateful fashion as I have never met a woman that has done so much for so little recognition. I am indebted to all that you have provided me and can say whole-heartedly that a day doesn’t go by in acknowledging how fortunate I am to have you looking over me. You may not get the recognition that you deserve, but I know some day I will show it to you.

I cannot buy you the world, I cannot give you every trip that you may want to go on, but I can say I will forever be grateful for the values and confidence you’ve instilled in me and it’s with that that I hope to re-pay you someday.

I love you and will love you for the rest of my life.

Happy Mothers Day Momma, you are one truly incredible individual.

 

“There is no such things as strangers, just friends we’ve yet to meet.”

Brant A. Wickersham

From Penthouse Living to Ground Floor Desk Attendant

 

My time spent at UF was nothing short of a fantasy.

Everything I could have possibly imagined or wanted had come true. Lifelong friendships, leadership roles within prominent campus organizations, working alongside student leaders and faculty alike creating a lasting impact in the local community, and being surrounded by individuals that challenged my intellect on a daily basis. When applying to positions, I simply got them; it was both a combination of personality traits and general likeability, luck, and a little bit of my whiteness.

I was on top of the world and still feel as if I am.

This dream state is quickly reversed when stepping out of Gainesville, however. I technically have a semester left due to an internship credit that is required by my college, but have began the process of job application and quickly realized the grand persona that I had created in Gainesville does not transmit to paper.

I could walk anywhere on campus or go in most classes and know at the very least one to two individuals every single time. In social situations, I garnished the respect of my peers and was cheered on at an appearance at any event.

How quickly this is overlooked in the eyes of an employer. Most employers just see another young white man that just graduated from college. They see experience and growth in multiple jobs and a leadership tract that just names off president of xyz or coordinator of this event. Even with descriptions included in both a resume and LinkedIn profile, they are often scanned over and overlooked. 4 years of efforts focused on specific organizations that harbor less than 10 seconds of an individuals attention.

I write this to talk about how disheartening it can be to be thrown back into the bottom of the heap and have to climb back up. The way in which I cope with this is to consistently remind myself of the impact that I have made and to think about what I want my life to look like. It is not the career that will define me, but rather me alone that will define how I am remembered.

Understand that this is a tumultuous process and leaves many stressed to a point of mental breakdowns, but can be countered with understanding that you have value and your purpose is not contingent on getting that one job or internship.

Wishing you a wonderful Friday and an even better weekend.

 

Get ready to move your hips — Song of the Week: DESPACITO

Check out my what I’ve been up to here: (IG)

 

“There is no such things as strangers, just friends we’ve yet to meet.”

Brant A. Wickersham